Ep. 01 Recommendations for Solo Live Girls
Written by Cordelia Shan, edited by Grace
In this episode, we are going to talk about a late night TV Show, Recommendations for Solo Live Girls (ソロ活女子のススメ).
Listen to full episode :
One of my favourite late-night drama shows on TV Tokyo, is a TV adaptation of Mayomi Ashi's essay collection of the same name, which was first published in 2019. The collection documents activities that the author did alone between 2015 and 2019. In April 2021, it was adapted into a TV drama series, starring Noriko Eguchi as Megumi Saotome, who portrays a “solo girl,” or someone who enjoys doing things alone. In the show, Saotome works as a contract employee at a digital publishing company. Saotome chooses to enjoy her time alone after work rather than force herself to drink and eat with her co-workers for the sake of socialization. Each episode features a place she visits, a restaurant she eats at, or a trip she goes on. I found this show not only because I am a massive fan of the lead actress, but also because of the story, about a girl doing things alone in a big city. It is a game-changer among food-related late-night shows. All the restaurants, hotels, and bars are real locations in Japan, encouraging the audience to visit them on their own.
In the last episode of Season II, Saotome goes kayaking along the Onagi River in Tokyo. A middle school girl on the riverbank approaches her during her break and asks, “is this kayaking thing interesting?”
“Yes! Kayaking is very entertaining,” she answers confidently.
The schoolgirl is taken aback by Saotome's quick answer. In shock, she asks aggressively, "you don't have friends?"
“I do have–” Saotome stops, then throws a question back, “What do you mean by friends?”
“Friends! Friends means friends, like, those people who hang out with you,” the schoolgirl explains impatiently.
Saotome smiles and then answers peacefully, "I was working full-time for a while, so I had multiple social events at the workplace. I go out with others sometimes, but after work, I enjoy the time more when I do things on my own. So, I don't think I have friends by your definition."
The schoolgirl looks confused. “You don’t feel lonely?”
"No, I don't. Because some things and activities are more interesting to do on one's own."
“Are you sure?”
"Of course! In fact, after doing things on my own, talking to strangers comes much easier to me than before, just like what we are doing right now. They sometimes share interesting things that I didn't know. Sometimes they even offer me help…there is no need to force anything. Doing things alone doesn’t mean feeling lonely."
When Saotomo shows how solo life does not equal loneliness, I cannot agree more.
In addition to doing solo activities, there are many episodes in seasons one and two where Saotome enjoys eating alone: outdoor BBQ, an entire course of French food, Peking Duck, drinks at a stand-up drinking bar, etc. People believe that having food with others can make the food taste better because the generosity to share gives good feelings. At the same time, some believe that eating alone or doing things alone can be selfish. In Season I, Episode 5, Saotome and another female customer at a sushi restaurant talk about sharing food with others in comparison to enjoying food alone. The female customer asks "why is it a problem that I eat food I love with the money I made on my own?” One Friday at work, a colleague of mine shared her thoughts on drinking alone. "Although most people go out alone at a bar or coffee shop for work, the enjoyment of the coffee, food, drinks, the tables, the chairs, the lamps – it’s a whole package." To my colleague and to Saotome, the “whole package” is the given time and space not just to eat, but to enjoy the solitude of the experience. For example, observing the interior designs of the restaurant, thinking about the neighbourhood where the restaurant is, and studying the stories behind the menus. In most episodes of the show, Saotome gets the chance to figure out the connections between the restaurant's name, design, menu, and even the history and culture behind the food. She often notices the exciting details of the table arrangement or hidden menu. Saotome enjoys her food bit by bit and her drink sip by sip. Her dedication to food and drinks helps her initiate valuable conversations with chefs, owners, and other customers. Again, by learning her own needs and serving herself best, Saotome builds her confidence higher and higher.
Recommendation for Solo Live Girls also openly discusses the gender biases in doing things alone. A woman going out alone or, let's say, a woman living a free lifestyle can be seen as troublesome and even offensive to others. These biases also play a big part in making the solo lifestyle harder for females. In Season II, Episode 7, Saotome meets an elderly lady in a hot spring hotel lounge. The lady shares her experience of travelling alone in the past. She asks Saotome whether she knows if it was hard for females of all ages to book a hotel room in Japan. Saotome answers, “isn’t it because it is hard for the hotel to prepare food for just one person? Because, you know, a group with a large number means a lot of profit for the hotel.”
The elderly lady’s face turns bitter as she explains, “Well, it would be nice if that was the reason. But the truth is, the hotels believe a female travelling alone will bring trouble to the hotel. Because an unchained female or a girl on her own must carry unreasonable burdens, such as doing something illegal or running away from the husband or family; therefore, the female must be doing something horrible in the hotel room. So, it was almost impossible for a female to book a hotel room for herself in the past. Many females were never able to travel alone, nor to have some alone time. However, a man who travels alone was never rejected by the hotels. He could do whatever he wants because the hotels assume the man must be a writer and in need of space to work. Then they would start talking or speculating about what fiction this man might be working on, which is so ridiculous." The elderly lady's sharing explains much of what I have heard about others' opinions of women doing things alone. A man alone is independent, a free spirit; a woman alone is a loser, pitiful, tragic, and unsafe.
Last summer, on our way to the park, my neighbour ( a woman in her early thirties like me) said, "I go to the park with my dog because I don't want to seem like a loser to others." Her facial expression was calm, but her tone was sombre. To her, doing things alone is a tragedy.
At the park, I questioned the neighbour’s statement, "Is that why you got a dog and why you called me today?"
She paused and replied quietly, “Yes, I guess so.”
One of my biggest takeaways from doing things alone is once I know how to create space for myself, I know how to make space for others. It’s human nature for most people to worry or be afraid about one day finding themselves all alone in the world. From some sociological perspective, most people agree with the idea that "no friends equals no happiness." Saotome often must force herself to do things with others, creating an uneasy feeling or placing an emotional burden on her. One day she asks herself, “why do I have to force myself to do the things I hate?” Choosing to spend time alone is her answer to self-love. After doing things alone or spending spare time with myself, I soon learned how to make myself happy, when to ask for help with work and life, and how to draw boundaries with others.
Reference
TV Show: Recommendations for Solo Live Girls (ソロ活女子のススメ)
Original work: ソロ活女子のススメ by 朝井麻由美, Asai Mayomi
Script Writer: 及川博則, Oikawa Hironori
Director: 及川博則, Oikawa Hironori
Timeline: Season I, April - June 2021; Season II, April - June 2022
Starring: 江口のりこ (Noriko Eguchi), 小林きな子 (Kinako Kobayashi), 渋谷謙人 (Kento Shibuya), 佐々木春香 (Haruka Sasaki)
Reference Links:
Season I - https://www.bs-tvtokyo.co.jp/solokatsu/#:~:text=「ソロ活女子のススメ」は、もともとは SNS,が書かれている。
Season II - https://www.tv-tokyo.co.jp/solokatsu2/#:~:text=“ソロ活”をテーマに,一挙先行配信を予定！
