Ep.13 A Year of Meeting 70 People Through a Dating Site and Recommending Books that would Suit Them
Written by Cordelia Shan, edited by Grace
In this episode, we are going to talk about a TV show called 出会い系サイトで70人と実際に会ってその人に合いそうな本をすすめまくった1年のこと (A Year of Meeting 70 People Through a Dating Site and Recommending Books that would Suit Them). This TV show was aired on the WOWOW channel in 2021 and has a total of 10 episodes. This TV production is based on a non-fiction book of the same title, written by Nanako Hanada The book was based on her real-life experience and was first published in 2018.
Listen to full episode :
Nanako Hanada works as a bookstore manager. Because of the rise of digital book formats, her bookstore doesn’t have many customers compared to before; she has been worried about the store’s turnover but has no idea what to do to increase the earning. At the same time, Nanako and her husband, Ken, are also about to divorce. While Nanako is experiencing a hard time in work and personal life, she registered on the dating site AUXAU and posted on her profile, “Please allow me to recommend books suitable for you,” to fill her desire as a bookstore worker. She met various people through the dating website, which made her think about her life choices; soon, she recorded the stories and published the book.
Some of the people I know did not show much interest in this show because of its long name. It is true that when I first heard about it, I indeed questioned the title as well and wondered whether this was just another show just about romance. But, I still had some interest in watching it, and I even got the book after because this is a work that is not only about romance but about books and humanity; I even found that it is unique to combine the dating website and dating app with book recommendations.
Nanako genuinely throws herself into her work passionately, all because of her love for books. She was first an intern at the bookstore, then slowly, step by step, she became the manager. It is very painful for her to experience the decline of printed books and the publishing industry. The pain, which she describes as “the throne of the deep changes,” is the same in her marriage and personal life.
Nanako is a kind, gentle, and sensitive person. Sometimes she is too kind to say no to people, even if the conversation is awkward and not going well. She does not like to be heartless and tries hard to find a topic of conversation. She tried and tried very hard.
With her career and marriage at rock bottom, she signed up for a dating site to heal her wounds and even thought about a life change by meeting more people from diverse groups to learn more about herself. So, by meeting more people, Nanako got a chance to learn about her own projections of others and was also able to learn what she likes and doesn’t like. For Nanako, recommending books helped her to express her feelings and even challenge the other party.
Nanko meets all sorts of people through a dating sites, such as a loyal user who only wants to read passionate pornographic novels; and another artist who is not only a magician but also a poet. He performs his magic show and reads his poems to Nanako. Nanako listens and picks poetry collections for him. Later, she meets someone rude and recommends a book on using humour while communicating. She also recommends a historical science book to a narcissist who looks down upon females and fiction.
Nanako doesn’t hide her love of books; in fact, she glows every single time she talks about books, which I believe any book lover would appreciate, especially when there are few people around who don’t read anymore. As a person who worked at the library before, I cannot agree more with Nanako’s passion and the pain of the decline of the publishing industry. Nanako tells the truth and still holds on to these passions. She doesn’t just do it for a living but also has some expectations and hopes for the humanities and arts. She simply believes that books are a medium to connect people and encourage dialogue and conversations, and the bookstore is a safe space to foster dreams. Therefore, she wants to meet people and tailor-make a list of book recommendations to grow, heal, and comfort them. Nanako believes that the humanity gained from reading books can save the world.
Most of the people she meets through the dating website are male, but in the fifth episode, Nanako meets a girl. They first share their experience meeting random guys from the dating site, and the girl even shows Nanako how to filter out dangerous people. Then they exchange the type of opposite sex they like. After seeing the wound on the girl’s arm, the girl unfolds her experience with domestic violence and, after running away from home, losing jobs and money. Facing homelessness in Tokyo, this girl registered for the dating site. Initially, she was thinking about becoming a sex worker, but all the kind people she met helped her get rid of the complex situation; now, she is a student at a nursing school and is about to graduate soon. In the past, she thought people would only be kind to those who are weak and quickly give their power away; but slowly, she learnt there is nothing wrong with being confident and asking for help and support at the same time. Nanako was inspired by this young girl and her strength and then recommended several books to her, including Running in Barefoot: Girls on the Street in the Night at Okinawa (裸足で逃げる 沖縄の夜の街の少女たち) which is written by a sociologist named Yoko Uema. The book contains a collection of interviews with sex workers in Okinawa. It is a dark, mighty, and hard-to-read book, but it allows an underrepresented group to speak and unfold their life experience with the writer Yoko Uema. There are no judgements, only facts and true life stories.
In the same episode, Nanako meets a female life coach through a dating site. Nanako talks about her worries about marriage and career and her changes since using the dating site. The life coach shares techniques to find her true feelings; Nanko cries a lot while talking to the life coach. Nanako recommends a book to the life coach, and the book is based on a collection of letters between poetry and food experts named Hiromi Ito and Nahomi Edaｍｍoto. It is called, What Did You Eat? (なにたべた?). The authors of this book exchanged letters about work, family, and love affairs; they also wrote faxes and letters in the kitchen late at night.
Ending
During her session with the life coach, Nanako learns that she is experiencing fear of loss, fear of the love between her and her husband, fear of the decline of bookstores and publishing, and fear of herself. Even though she does not want to stick to the feeling of loss and knows that there is always an ending to all notions, she still cannot help but feel sad. Nanako likes everyone, fears the unknown of the future, and feels sorry about saying goodbye to her own belongings. Then Nanako realises that, compared to a life without worries, she thinks that a life of having the courage to face all her fears is a cool one.
After this book, Nanako also published a novel, The question of what family means to me, which I thought about after struggling with two children of my single father's younger boyfriend. (シングルファーザーの年下彼氏の子ども２人と格闘しまくって考えた「家族とは何なのか問題」のこと). And she even opens her own bookstore, Kani Books, an independent bookshop at Koenji, Tokyo. You can find the bookshop’s information in the description box.
I would love to visit this bookshop, meet Nanako-san, talk with her, and ask her to recommend books for me. What would she recommend to me? Or, I would even love my listeners to recommend books, mangas, and TV shows. I can be reached through Instagram, @thurs_night_kissa. I would love to hear from you.
Reference
Original work: 出会い系サイトで70人と実際に会ってその人に合いそうな本をすすめまくった1年間のこと (1 Year of Meeting 70 People Through Online Dating & Recommending Books That Suits Them) by 花田 菜々子 (Nanako Hanada)
TV Show website in Japanese: link
Book on Amazon Japanese Website: link
Writer Nanako Hanada's Twitter: @hanadananako
The book that Nanako recommend: Running in Barefoot: Girls on the Street in the Night at Okinawa (裸足で逃げる 沖縄の夜の街の少女たち) by Yoko Uema(上間陽子); What Did You Eat? なにたべた?―伊藤比呂美+枝元なほみ往復書簡.
Kani Bookshop: https://www.kanibooks.com/ [堀萬ビル, Japan, 〒166-0003 Tokyo, Suginami City, Kōenjiminami, 2-chōme−48]
