Ep. 34 I Love My Family for Who They Are
Written by Cordelia.
Listen to the full episode :
Hello and welcome back to Thursday Night Kissaten. I’m your host, Cordelia.
Today, we’re diving into a TV show and its original book that have deeply moved me. The title of the show is The People I Loved Were My Family (家族だから愛したんじゃなくて、愛したのが家族だった), or as it’s alternatively translated, I Love My Family for Who They Are. The series is based on the autobiographical essays by Nami Kishida.
The Story
The show begins with our main character, Nanami, delivering a powerful line:
“I always say that if anyone were to make a movie about all the death, disability, and strange diseases my family has endured, it would make the whole world cry for three days. But all of those things happened in my own family. Yeah, that's how dramatic it is.”
I Love My Family for Who They Are aired on NHK from May to July 2023, spanning ten episodes. The story is adapted from the essay collection of the same name by Nami Kishida.
Nami’s journey started on a Japanese blogging platform called Note in November 2019. There, she shared personal stories about her family that resonated with many readers. Her father, a former venture capitalist, passed away suddenly, her mother became reliant on a wheelchair, and her younger brother has Down syndrome. Through her essays, Nami candidly chronicles the “interesting,” “sad,” and often indescribable events of her life, evoking laughter, tears, and deep reflection from her audience. These stories quickly gained traction online, attracting over 8 million views by September 2020. The publishing house Shogakukan then compiled her essays and interviews with her family into a book.
In 2023, NHK adapted her story into the TV show we’re discussing today.
The opening scene of the show is striking: five characters, dressed in black, walk toward a red car. The screen displays a message: “This is a fictional story, but…” Then Nanami looks directly into the camera and says, “But 99% is based on truth.”
Nanami’s World
Nanami doesn’t enjoy school, although she loves learning—something I’m sure many of us can relate to. She doesn’t have many friends and faced rejection when a high school boyfriend found out her brother has Down syndrome. Nanami is funny, but her humor is rooted in life’s hardships, which most people around her don’t understand.
In the TV show, Nanami’s friend comes from a family involved in pyramid selling, peddling “miracle” water. This adds another layer of complexity to her already challenging life.
Tragedy struck Nanami’s family when her father passed away suddenly while she was still in middle school. After missing an important appointment with her, Nanami cursed her father in anger, saying, “Go to hell.” That same night, he suffered a massive chest pain, went to the ER, and passed away. The weight of that moment stays with Nanami.
In her last year of high school, Nanami’s mother collapsed and became paralyzed after waking up from surgery. Around the same time, her grandmother, who lived with them, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. With no one else to turn to, Nanami signed the papers for her mother’s surgery, which saved her life but left her unable to walk.
After much thinking, crying, and soul-searching, Nanami decided to go to university to study social science, hoping to build a better world.
Disability in Japan
Before we delve further into the TV show, I want to provide some context about how disabilities are perceived in Japan. The disability rights movement in Japan has been slow to develop, and representation in media has lagged even further behind. For the longest time, disabled children were often separated from their families, placed in residential institutions, or hidden away at home. The stigma surrounding disability was so pervasive that mothers were frequently blamed for their child’s condition, leading to further discrimination and isolation.
It wasn’t until the 1970s that the disability rights movement gained momentum, and by 1986, initiatives like the Personal Attendants for Physically Disabled Persons were launched in cities like Osaka. However, media representation only began to improve in the late 1990s, with shows like Your Hands Are Whispering featuring characters with disabilities. Recent years have seen more shows tackling these issues, including Perfect World and Sclient.
The gradual increase in representation isn’t just about visibility—it’s about educating the public and fostering a truly inclusive society. It’s a slow process, but it’s progress.
Nanami’s Choice and Freedom
Throughout her life, Nanami has faced overwhelming challenges. In a moment of despair, she reflects, “Death in the family, disability, incurable disease… If any of these were used as a plot in a movie, the whole world would cry. But all of these happened in my family.”
This is a question many of us grapple with: How much more must we endure before we find peace?
But there’s a powerful realization that comes with time—we have more control over our lives than we think. Even in the darkest moments, we have the choice to keep going. This realization brings a profound sense of freedom.
In one poignant scene, Nanami shares this with her mother, who constantly apologizes for the hardships they’ve faced. As tears flow, Nanami says, “Mom, if you want to end everything, I won’t stop you. I’ll even end it all with you. But please give me a bit more time. There are things I want to do, changes I want to make for you. So, can you please wait for me a little longer?”
With this resolve, Nanami takes the entrance exam for the university her father once wished to attend. She gets accepted and pursues a double major in Welfare and Business. Her goal? To create a more accessible world, to “smash the stairs” that have kept people like her mother from living fully.
The Presence of Dad
Nanami’s father, though deceased, remains a constant presence in the story. His ghost lingers, especially around her brother, Sotai. The way the show depicts these moments—whether it’s him sitting on the couch, walking through the kitchen, or appearing in memories—is touching. It’s a reminder that Nanami’s dad never truly left them.
For me personally, it was heartwarming to see Ryo Nishikido on screen again, bringing life to this poignant character.
A More Inclusive World
I believe Nanami’s efforts did change the world. This past winter, while I was in Japan, I noticed more accessibility on public transportation and more inclusivity in everyday life. On buses in Kyoto, I saw more people in wheelchairs, and there was a noticeable absence of side glances or discomfort from other passengers. It was a small but significant step toward a more inclusive society—a step that began with a simple blog post and one woman’s determination to live fully.
Final Thoughts
I Love My Family for Who They Are and its companion, The I Can’t Take it Anymore Chronicles, capture the extraordinary daily life of Nami Kishida. Her essays are raw, honest, and deeply moving, chronicling the struggles and triumphs of her family. They remind us that life, no matter how challenging, is worth living—and that every small step we take toward understanding, inclusion, and love makes a difference.
Thank you for joining me on this episode of Thursday Night Kissaten. Wherever you are, know that you’ve done an amazing job just to be here, to be alive, and to keep moving forward. Until next time, this is Cordelia, signing off.
Reference
Writer/Host/Technician/Translator: Cordelia
Work: 家族だから愛したんじゃなくて、愛したのが家族だった (I Love My Family by Who They Are) TV Show website in Japanese: https://www.nhk.jp/p/ts/RMVLGR9QNM/
Book in Japanese: https://amzn.asia/d/b242F8o
Nami Yushida's blog: https://kishidanami.com/
Background music:
フリーBGM「午後の窓、コーヒーの香り。」by のる
